TO KISS 100 MEN

A little over three years ago i was reading a book; a life changing book. The title, TO KISS 100 MEN. This title challenged me, i did not want to learn the art of good kissing from taking up this challenge no, i just hoped to sample at least a number.The variety that there is; tender, sweet, violent, passionate, unexpected, strong, timid, stormy, sensual, liberating, etc.) i wanted to experience it all. As the book says i just might have found my prince charming note the tense used. The challenge began immediately and i encountered the diversity there is in how people kiss. I met amateur kissers, good kissers, star kissers, big lips, small lips, soft lips,cracked lips,dry lips, extra soft lips and you can bet the experience was different with every one of them. I obeyed the rules of the game immediately they asked for something more than a kiss i bolted, real fast the guy was left wondering what he did wrong. I wrote and described every kiss in detail after it happened, memoirs are important there were those that did not need too much describing two words like PK MOMENTS served the purpose, i hope they never wonder why i never went back for more...yuck. The challenge went on for a while. Do not judge i never got to 100 and no am not suffering from any diseases.And then one day just like in the book i found THE 1 that great kisser. Just like Annie Evett(blogger) would say it I sank into the sensuousness of his soft lips, warm and yielding skin and body, wet and willing tongue, drowned in the smell of their musky skin as i experienced the tingle down my spine, behold how i loved the giddy light headed feeling after wards. It was the kind of kissing like in the book that makes the world stop, the one that occupied a big chunk of my diary. I bet the guy had recognized his talent and worked on it real good. I forgot it was all a game and i fell real hard, head over heels. Most of the time we get mixed up, we tend to deny but hey i got caught up, confused in the heaveneness of it all i forgot the book was a work of fiction. I broke the rules of the game and just like fate would have it i got burnt. It was too late when i realized I WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE MELTING IN THE SENSUOUSNESS(he was blessed with the gift of sharing).Experiences; I was wrong to read too much into a kiss. and minus the good looks, great body, being a skilled kisser and a self declared claim to offer torrid sex the guy had nothing else going on for him.

When the clock ticked midnight

Its been almost a month since i turnd 21.I should have uploaded this article a long time ago! I cant help but reminiscence things that happened when i turned 20,good or bad!too many bad things happend on the eve of my birthday last year. My current boyfriend was in bed with another woman(just sleeping btw)and i guess the realisations afterwards began my stuck on stupid moments.i have done a million things that i look back and regret,things am so ashamed of!i have gone back to an ex(worst mistake ever)exes never work issues will always be the same!i have drank myself stupid!smoked up some really bad ass shyiet!in that period i created the most embarassing moments of my lyf!memories i laugh to myself all alone!and all this was commenced by what happend when the clock ticked midnight on 30.09.2010.so many things have changed since!i have ruined my reputation,lost faith in the sanctity of relationships but in all this i have learnt one thing i write my own destiny!iam whom i make myself to become. And today as i write this blog,i want my 21 year to be different, 1 month down the line has got me thinking how different is it from the past!i tried replaying an episode of my 20 by making another mistake,learning point. Am rekindling broken relationships!wassup mum!this has been hard but i believe we getting there.i shed a few tears when the clock ticked midnight a month ago!i was happy to be 21 the hell i was ecstatic that despite the mistakes of my 20 God was still faithful to see me through another year!realising the past is not my potential am chosing to liberate my future!hello 21 am loving this!!!

its just a crush...

i see him every time i flip 'my' tv to that channel...he does not make me wet my panties like others say, and no he is not alehandro(dont know if this is his name) from that soap dont mess with an angel...(airs on ntv)....he does not have a body to die for..would not fit in forbes 100 sexiest men...or would he?mmmh..he is not any of that..he is good looking alright....... has the kind of look you wouldn't feel ashamed taking to your mama..went to school (requirement by the way)the results dont matter.dresses simply... and i guess it is in his simplicity that i am most attracted to...
i have seen this guy for over two years now...but he did not make my dreams till some time this year...ask me why i dont know (you tell me how your crushes pop)maybe something about him changed within this period of time....he started appearing in my fantasies every time i daydreamed (i forgive all those boring teachers those daydreams do it for me)hehe...that kind of guy you lose your virginity to on your first date(not really)
and then me being me...i looked him up on facebook. sexy profile pic by the way.....i sent him a friend request
and everyday i checked my notifications to see if he had accepted...and a month down the line...no progress...no YOU and MR CRUSH are now friends on my notifications!bitter, heart broken i began ranting...i tried to look for weaknesses every time i saw him on tv.....but every time i was idle i daydreamed. it was like a first love gone sour...i couldnt believe i had a crush on a snobbish celeb...i think it was slowly fading off..i decided to hit his inbox...and no i did not tell him how i go gaga about him everytime he is on tv....am not the type of girl who strips on seeing a celeb (dont pretend you dont remember throwing your thong at Psquare's concert), screams her lungs out upsetting the whole town....and no am not crazy about autographs and taking photos with them...'i have seen you before'i was quick to tell him...and i never tripped...i just wanted to be friends, i added...i gues flossing to my pals i commented on your status though you did not respond...came my short summary of the message....
and as i had intended it sparked something....a response which means an emotion was involved...an inbox saying how he did no get my friend request....blah blah blah. he sent me a friend request himself and two weeks down the line its still on my waiting list....i will accept when the time is right...funny thing is that I dont want to see his wall anymore, comment and even snoop through his pictures.....hehehee...i guess the crush is finally over...haha i wish
MADE UP STORY UP THERE...but there is a crush alright...name withheld because i believe very soon we gon meet up and i will tell him i enjoy writing have a blog...and he will bookmark it commenting on every story i write here ...over a cup of coffee....dreams my friends...thats what the world is made of rather my world!!!!!!!

ITS BITTER SWEET...

I havent written in a long time...or rather i have not written any ish worth uploading online...i get my inspiration from reading not mills and boons and silhouttes no, those dont inspire me. i get it from reading works of authors i can relate to...am talking about blogs may they be about politics,love, gossip, short stories, oh and my personal favorite kwani books...i finally read purple hibiscus by Chimamanda Adichie...mmmh awesome piece.for the past few weeks my life has been dull, no drama happening and damn i love drama, they have been slow and peaceful weeks.To be honest when i felt like a walking and sitting zombie because i had nothing meaningful to do..
And then am back to campus and bang! things change drastically...life becomes more fast...i gat to pick up from where i left last sem....from the mistakes i made last sem...from things i refused to deal with when i opted to run away simply because the skul was closing....i come back and all those are staring at me in the eye saying solve me now...SIGH....
been trying to log on my favorite blog for my weekly read and nothing seems fruitful ....as am about to log off the page opens...there is only one article i havent read ...his latest titled babies into ladies...i scheme through it and he talks about ish i can relate to....but since time is far much gone i log out and promise to reread it the following day..
i happen to bump into my friend i will call him jane....he doesnt look like a girl no...he is manly...buh he has beautiful hair....sowie buh who even calls their child jane...jane is accompanied by his friend i will call him tom....reason his dick is always in a hurry(every tom dick and harry)...tom disgusts me...he is the guy in the blog i just read in that blog babies into ladies...i will describe him a little...he is the type of guy who woes ladies esp the innocent looking ones, proffesses his undying love for them, charms them with i donno what because honestly he is minus the good looks and good english...takes them to bed and after he is done he bolts...in 'style' as he seems to think...oh he tells the whole world he took you to bed and labels you a hoe and as they call them hear arnd campus...loose....tom once tried that shit on me when i was a freshman...he wooed me, proffessed undying love (the script is always the same) but he wasnt lucky...he never got me to bed...i guess a first for him because it made him a bitter man, resentful towards me...he did not get an ego boost from me...but he exited in style like he did with the rest....he preached to the whole world how he got me to bed...
as we walk towards where i live the silence is awkward...i smile to myself thinking whether to confront him or not...i wonder why i never bothered to(i know why i have a platform to vent). the two guys try to make small talk but because am there tom is uncomfortable he tells lame stories i dont contribute i just laugh once in a while why because the theory of attraction is working here(story for another day)...am sure tom is waiting for a week before pauncing on his next culprit most likely a freshman...i think to myself in pity and are grateful that my mum taught me well
hey ya'all judgemental junes its not like i have not made mistakes before but am always careful...its human...tom is a mistake not for the people who go to him willingly but to those unsuspecting victims he lures...and then the nature of humans one is forgiven once...but making mistakes(tom) twice, thrice to even four times and crying over it is FOOLISH...but hey am not an expert on this buh i always wonder how a man becomes violent to me once, twice,thrice and i go back to him tears in my eyes begging him for forgiveness for something i did not do and asking him back!!!!!!!its sad...
am at my house in bed thinking...HOW I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE DAY IN A CRUEL TWIST OF FATE TOM WILL GET A DAUGHTER OF HIS OWN..(bikozulu)...am restless as i think how that statement got me thinking karma the bitch is coming to haunt me for things i have done before.....DEAD at the realisation that just like tom i have things i have to pay for...........

ITS SUNDAY AGAIN!!!!!!

Its that Sunday of the month where holy communion happens to be offered in your church....your mama will not stop knocking at your door asking you to wake up, shower and head to church....you tell her you are too tired but she will not listen.after all you have missed the past Sundays after the last holy communion..
if only she knew what happened yesterday...that major hangover you are trying to nurse since yesterday you were out partying the whole night..anyway not ready to disappoint your mum you wake up and get dressed for church....she plays that song by Rose Muhando 'hicho kiatu kivue'...and all that is ringing in your head is the tune of some riddim you were dancing to last night obviously not gospel..and i can bet that bendova dancing style was involved..
you finally get to church and the worship goes on and on and finally its the pastors chance to pray for the holy communion...he preaches on and on about how you should be pure in heart before partaking the Lords table and damn girl if yesterday was anything to go by there is nothing close to purity in you...by now the glasses of wine are now at the pew where your sitting and you see every eye staring at you...imaginary of course...the last time you did not take the holy communion your mum asked aloud 'kwani umebackslide' swahili for have you backsliden...not ready for any questions you pick your piece of bread and cup of wine and proceed according to the pastors call...
That wasn't so bad you think to yourself as the sermon of the day starts..but holy communion moment was just the icing on the cake.the message of the day is directly to those who are addicted to clubbing, alcohol and other drugs, and to the prostitutes on koinange street...one among them are one of your sins...the pastor goes on to say that amongst the crowd in church there are characters struggling with one or more of those addictions...your palms become sweaty and you slide more to the edge of the pew as you constantly stare at the exit..the pastor points in the direction where you are sitting and makes an altar call...the spirit of the Lord directed him there and he says among the people sitting there are one of those he was praying for...he calls them to repentance continuously saying the Lord will set you free..he even mentions some of the clubs you usually visit and by now your hands are practically shaking...the pastor commands everyone to close their eyes and join together in spirit to pray for those people...you don't do so...because you know after all they are praying for you.....and then you hear the pastor clapping someone is heading to the front to give her life to the Lord...relief for a moment people are now opening their eyes...its not too long before you realize its your best friend Jos your partner in crime....the shock on your eyes...that sharp look your mum is giving you...she knows you were with Jos yesterday night...and Jos is right there at the altar confessing all your crimes....She says she has been soliciting money from sugar daddies, addicted to alcohol,oh yes and a shocker for church members cannabis sativa( inside joke).it now dawns on you mum...that common saying ' birds of a feather flock together'.did she just stare at that designer heel your rocking...evil laugh...she faints....oh yeah the life of a common believer........to be continued......

LETTER TO MY SHUSHU

Dear granny Grace,
Yes she may be way over seventy years old but she deserves mention....Yeah my granny Grace whom i resemble from head to toe....minus the wrinkles of old age..she is just of my complexion and often refers to me as her last born daughter to her friends...Though she is semi illiterate am sure one of her many chldren would not mind translating this heart felt letter to her...How i wish she knew how to read or write, or had one of this advancements of technology....Youa wondering why i cannot call her...i have that option but i want to put it in words because that is how i do it best...
She is ailing now,has been for almost the past five years of her life but she still keeps strong. Her zeal to live is what i admire most about her. She wakes up to go to the garden just so her family may not lack something to eat.Granny Grace played father and mother role to me for the first fourteen years of my life. She instiled in me values that people envy that i will be glad to pass on to my children. Kindness being her greatest virtue...Granny Grace has been through a lot in life but her faith in God keeps her strong..She struggles to walk to church a 15 mins walk she does it in a hour . But thats wat i admire about granny grace,...she is never late to church..
As i write this article tears fill my eyes...because everytime granny grace gets very unwell i fear losing her...I want her to stay long enough to attend my graduation,see me get employed and give her a good life...maybe get her to church in 5 minutes with no sweat at all....
Yes i want her to walk me down the ail...Only her age cant allow her to rock em heels....i will have her rocking those Orie Mandulis headbands...take her for a mani and pedi....oh she says its a waste of money but it will be my wedding..I want granny Grace to live long enough to see my grandchildren..To see what a great job she did in raising me up through my children...And as i write this article today I chose this to be granny day for me...where i go visit her,,,chat a little, bring her flowers...(and i know that funny look she gives me and tells me in our mother tongue i stop being childish)....but i still will because it makes her happy.
Granny Grace is always telling me to read because books are a weapon and am doing exactly that for me because i understand that but also pushing on harder because i want to make granny Grace proud...
My prayer remains the same every night...Lord please keep granny Grace safe......

IAM MY MOTHERS CHILD AND PROUD

Iam attending some event and names are being called out. By bad luck or good luck my name does not appear on the list. The person calling out the register asked for my name starting with the surname and i said Wangari. He gives me a funny look and repeats again....surname....i smile at him and say my mothets name again. He shakes his head and

THE ALREADY TAKEN MENACE

He is 5feet 8 inches just like you love them. He has everything that makes your head spin when you see him. And yes you been single for the past twenty four years of your life. Surely when this Mr. Have it all hits on you he is definitely Mr. right for you or not. Aspecial way for a prayer answer. Mr. have it all knows how to treat a lady. He has the education, the money, oh and that amazing sense of humour. He runs his affairs in the open and so you think mr. have it all has been waiting for a mrs have it all who is you. One year into the relationship and no signs of anything serious. He is mr. right for you definitely he should be noticing your biological clock is ticking.
Some friend informs you that his is a characteristic of a taken man. You start digging into his life and you find that just there in the open he is married to a beautiful woman and has two children. Heartbroken you break off the relationship vowing to never get hooked up again but then again he is your first love so we still wait for relationship two.
Your folks also think you should be settling down and so do your friends. Since you have been single for one and a half years you have definitely moved on. You decide to get into the dating game once more. Good luck is not on your side because once more you fall for the already taken man. One is left to wonder arent characteristics of taken men the same or do you have a thing for attracting taken men?
You decide that relationships are just not cut for you because a taken man will never be yours after all no matter how much he says he loves.
I thought there is a prince charming out there for everyone. Its just patience that pays, mmmh you can choose to sit there and wait for cupid to strike the arrow your way or you can just have the mentality all good men are taken. Yes i heard a girl who is dating a taken man say...."Am not number two, number two is all in the mind, to him i will always be number one in my own right". well i reserve my comment. As i sit and watch the not taken messing with the taken..