(p.s notice the time difference in which the text messages are replied.)
5:00 PM : phone rings, i check who is calling, not important, i hang up,
phone rings again i hang up
5:01 pm : text message same person lets call him Ferrari, hey was
calling to check up on you
10:35pm: i reply text, sorry i was sleeping am good
10:36pm : Ferrari- where you at?
10:50pm : me- at my house
10:52pm : Ferrari: am outside your house, a knock at the door.
I open my door to find Ferrari standing at the door half a bottle of minute maid in 1 hand an umbrella in the other and a wide grin on his face. Questions flood my mind as i throw a disinterested hey his way. He makes himself welcome and the first question i ask is, 'why do you visit people at night? ‘He laughs, am pissed because that question was not funny. He asks how my weekend was and i explain in 1 0r 2 lines before he jumps in to explain to me how his was. He goes on to tell me how since he is a bad boy his life involves partying hard and more partying so he has been drinking all weekend long (insert Nigerian accent). I promise to Google exactly who is a bad boy after he leaves because at this point am very confused. Deathly silence follows afterwards, i count the number of mosquitoes in my house, the number of tiles on the kitchen counter, and I rearrange and arrange my house afresh in my head as I wait for conversation to flow. I can see him staring at me from the corner of my eye. The seconds drag, the eerie silence not amusing apparently the screeching crickets only have a party when am sleeping. Do you enjoy my company? he finally asks. Not at all, i retort. At this point i maintain eye contact to make sure i see his expression and drive the message home. I explain to him why he is boring company, as he is too quiet and silence gives me the creeps, it also makes the mouth smell and i don’t like odour I add. At this point i expect him to walk out but no he makes himself comfortable and tells me how he is not a quiet person its just something about me that makes him quiet at this point i switch off and am about to doze off when he asks me what i like about him. Am startled, he is wrong for assuming i like anything about him because i don’t am just trying to be nice. I rephrase his question in my head and smile to myself. He asks me not to go for my Monday lectures and we stay indoors all day, at this point i laugh; a hearty laugh, i would not trade my overly boring Monday lectures to spend five more minutes with Ferrari. On his last attempt to redeem himself he asks me to accompany him to his house and sleep over there. At first i thought i heard wrong but on second thought he meant what he was telling me. At this point i think it is time to give him a reality check, i tell him am disinterested in his romantic overtures, wouldn’t hook up with a person am struggling to have conversation with and definitely how he was not my type. But Ferrari was relentless he interrupted me saying how i was a nice beautiful girl who is missing out on good opportunities like having a boyfriend like himself.(haha i checked myself into a mental institution)
1:03 am i have had enough of the bullshit he is telling me and i see him out of my house, he promises to call as he gives me a chance to think about his advice.
Urban dictionary defines a bad boy as a willful, independent person, who does what he wants, when he wants it, does not follow trends, trends follow him; he often looks scruffy, but hip, he is not looking for trouble, but there is a danger about him and this makes him irresistible to women. Ferrari possesses none of this characteristics, he tries so hard to be someone he is not and he thrives in labeling himself a bad boy. A bad boy unlike Ferrari isn’t always seeking reassurance he is a confident man at ease with the women can date a woman of his choice because of his status. He does not have the time for ladies like me to trample all over his ego.
I feel for men like Ferrari, they try so hard at something that they should not be. If only he tried that much to be himself and not somebody else maybe, just maybe he would stand a chance.
it is around 2.00am as i draft this particular text message it reads,' i know what i want and wont apologize for it and it is definitely not you' i don’t press the send button,i dont know the timeline ferrari gives to his advice sinking but i wait for his phonecall in the meantime i save the message!!!!!
Monday, February 27, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
IN THE VALENTINES SPIRIT
He promised to bring me flowers, red roses to be particular and wine not for me to drink alone but for us to have a quiet evening together( what he meant to say was for him to see my inner thighs). It was not valentines, Christmas, my birthday nor our anniversary it was just a normal day in December. He was big on flattery, the smooth talker i must agree. He even sent me texts about how i was his new year resolution and to the extremes of whether i hire dicks on contract???i lost his number but not before i made it clear i am not interested, the man had the nerve to tell me i did not know what i was looking for in a relationship and he was just the one and you can guess am still single.I bumped into him recently and he walked right past me and i started wondering what are we twelve years ?To the point of the story above, its valentines and i will be dancing to a solo tune again. Am kinda feeling sorry for myself because a pal of mine recently told me i am very complicated and i will end up a 30 something year old spinster. I am not complicated nor proud as some are misguided and i don't feel the need to defend it but i just want some one who gets me that's all i ask for. I have certain demands but i will only state one, call me weird but this is me. I have a penchant for good smell, a good scent on a man which depends on how well groomed they are and what is their taste in cologne. I have a friend who never gets it wrong the grooming and his two famous scents Ferrari black cologne by Ferrari and truth by Calvin Klein.
There is something deeply satisfying about a man who smells as good as my friend. The scent on them is suggestive, commands attention, intrudes upon my consciousness and wraps around me all day. It hints at something, makes me conjure images that am not supposed to be having and gives me reason to hug them every time i bump into them. But most men go wrong with this, they ignore the value of a good scent, and perfect grooming and those are the kind that have been coming my way. still wondering why i am still single?????
There is something deeply satisfying about a man who smells as good as my friend. The scent on them is suggestive, commands attention, intrudes upon my consciousness and wraps around me all day. It hints at something, makes me conjure images that am not supposed to be having and gives me reason to hug them every time i bump into them. But most men go wrong with this, they ignore the value of a good scent, and perfect grooming and those are the kind that have been coming my way. still wondering why i am still single?????
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
INCONSISTENT
I had signed up for some volunteer work at the end of last year to be done this year. On January 2nd at around 9.30 pm i received a text message stating that i had been cut out of the list that had been selected to do the work. The text went on further to state that my inconsistency in attending training the last year was the reason why i would not join the group.
On normal occasions i take insouciance to a whole new level and let things slide easy but this text bothered me. Being called inconsistent when i had been nothing but that was a tad bit insulting. The mind is a vivid place and i imagined all sorts of things that the text did not say. Maybe something like we do not find the services you render satisfying enough or we have chosen the best and we do not thik you cut the bar or just something better than being called inconsistent. I was hurt because according to my standards when i do something i give it my all. I took offence in not only what the text did say but also what it did not say. I replayed an episode in my head where i would be confronting the leader of the volunteer group in the regard to the above. Maybe he would start by defining his understanding of the word consistency and honestly i saw him struggling, his speech getting slower, avoiding eye contact because he knew he had been unfair to me. The sigh of victory. But i also imagined losing the battle him shutting me out before i even began questioning his judgement and telling me he had the powers to do so and just like a cat that has been rained on i would walk out of his ofice with my tail between my legs. But ey, this is life which brings me to the reason why i wrote this article. After that experience i began to question a lot of things in my life. Did i lie to myself am good at something and other people thought otherwise? I questioned even the existence of this blog. Maybe it is in my head that i can put thoughts into words to make something worth reading.
All i could come up with was one thing ,WE CANNOT ALL BE GREAT IN THE EYES OF EVERYBODY, but what is really the bone of contention to me is in everything we do did we do it to the best of our capability? Did we give it our all and therefore are we the best at the level we are supposed to be at? God never created us as equals we all have a purpose and a level we are supposed to be at and it is at this level that we gauge ourselves and i guess i have been doing alright.
On normal occasions i take insouciance to a whole new level and let things slide easy but this text bothered me. Being called inconsistent when i had been nothing but that was a tad bit insulting. The mind is a vivid place and i imagined all sorts of things that the text did not say. Maybe something like we do not find the services you render satisfying enough or we have chosen the best and we do not thik you cut the bar or just something better than being called inconsistent. I was hurt because according to my standards when i do something i give it my all. I took offence in not only what the text did say but also what it did not say. I replayed an episode in my head where i would be confronting the leader of the volunteer group in the regard to the above. Maybe he would start by defining his understanding of the word consistency and honestly i saw him struggling, his speech getting slower, avoiding eye contact because he knew he had been unfair to me. The sigh of victory. But i also imagined losing the battle him shutting me out before i even began questioning his judgement and telling me he had the powers to do so and just like a cat that has been rained on i would walk out of his ofice with my tail between my legs. But ey, this is life which brings me to the reason why i wrote this article. After that experience i began to question a lot of things in my life. Did i lie to myself am good at something and other people thought otherwise? I questioned even the existence of this blog. Maybe it is in my head that i can put thoughts into words to make something worth reading.
All i could come up with was one thing ,WE CANNOT ALL BE GREAT IN THE EYES OF EVERYBODY, but what is really the bone of contention to me is in everything we do did we do it to the best of our capability? Did we give it our all and therefore are we the best at the level we are supposed to be at? God never created us as equals we all have a purpose and a level we are supposed to be at and it is at this level that we gauge ourselves and i guess i have been doing alright.
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